Winning Against Addiction
My win is being able to confront and handle drug addiction. I have been working at Narconon Arrowhead for over four years and recently moved into another job here at our organization. My new duties are so rewarding and I am constantly seeing improvements. I really feel like I am majorly contributing every day and even though it is challenging I know that with every person I help, I am literally saving their life and we are winning against the battle of drug addiction.
To think that 4 years ago I fell victim to heroin addiction. Today I can't believe how far I've come.
Sharing My Success With My Cousin
Today I had a big win. Last week I got my cousin to agree to come into the Narconon Arrowhead program. He had been abusing drugs for over 10 years and had been in methodone for the last year. I went to check on him today and even though he has had a tough few days withdrawing from methodone he was in great spirits when I spoke with him. He told me that the staff at Narconon Arrowhead are the nicest people he has ever met and they have helped him so much. He also told me that he loves the sessions in withdrawal and that they are really helping him a lot.
I was so happy to hear that he is doing so well and making it through this and so proud of the staff here for the way that they have treated him. There is no other place like Narconon Arrowhead that cares so much about the people coming in here and getting off drugs.
The Road to Recovery (8)
I hopped on a plane and was then driven to the Narconon center where I went through a drug-free withdrawal. I was so scared to kick again, that is the hardest thing for a drug addict to face, but because of the vitamins I was given, I got through it. I was finally ready to start on the road to recovery.
Going through my program I confronted everything I couldn’t confront for all those years. For four months I went through the hardest and most fulfilling thing I had ever done in my life. The program initially deals with the physical part of the drug addiction and then moves on to the mental. The Narconon program deals with all aspects of addiction by restoring the addict and giving them a new life.
One day I looked at myself in the mirror and for the first time I didn’t hate who I was. I was finally happy. I was content and I had won. I beat my addiction. The whole time I never needed drugs to take away pain and to make me feel good. Thanks to the Narconon program, I could finally do it all by myself.
Finally, I Got Help (7)
After extensive research my dad found a rehabilitation center called Narconon. It was a non-traditional center that handled the physical cravings first, then the mental. It was also an extended 3 to 6 month program with a 76% success rate.
Based on the data my parents were convinced that this was what would save my life but I wasn’t. I had gone so long without being sober that I didn’t think I could do it. So, I refused. One morning, I woke up sick again, from another drug binge. I got to a phone and dialed the number that my mother had given me ‘just in case’. I spoke to a counselor who assured me that everything would be ok if I was just willing to try. Making that decision was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.
My Drug Addiction Was Winning (6)
I called my parents who agreed to pick me up. It was time to kick again and I was scared. I started to get sick a few hours later at their home and I got so sick that I had to be hospitalized. I don’t remember much about the hospital except throwing up and crying and sleeping. Five days later I was released and my parents were in the car with my things. They drove me straight back to New Jersey where I swore I was going to start over.
I got a job and managed to not do heroin for one month. I began drinking all the time to curb my cravings and as soon as I got the change I relapsed. The first time I used I almost overdosed and began throwing up everywhere. I was in downtown Philadelphia with a friend and got really sick. He offered me support and then a crack pipe. For the next few weeks I went from drinking and taking painkillers to snorting coke and to snorting heroin to smoking crack. I would take any buzz that I could get to just avoid being in my own skin. I hated myself and what I had become. I couldn’t even look anyone in the eye and I had failed at confronting myself and my problem. My drug addiction was winning. And every time I tried to kick the physical craving would send me back for more.
While I was killing myself my parents were doing everything they could to help me. My father began researching drug and alcohol rehabilitation centers on the Internet. We were all scared because we knew of many 12-step, 28 day rehabs that others had tried and that didn’t work. My parents did not want to gamble with my life, and they knew it wouldn’t be long before I killed myself. I was slowly dying.
Bad Habits (5)
By the time I realized I was addicted, snorting OxyContin was part of my daily routine. Instead of having to do 20mg to get off I had to do 80mg. I was stealing at least $100.00 per day from my grandparents at the family business. I needed something stronger because college was about to start and I couldn’t afford to be sick. Just as that thought ran through my mind, I was introduced to heroin. At $20 or $30 per bag it was a cheap, potent, alternative to OxyContin.
I would stop at nothing to get high. My dealer and I would travel to North Philadelphia on our days off to pick up heroin to distribute to pay for our habits. We bought bags for $10/each and then would distrubite them at three times their value. On days where we ran out, I would steal money and buy OxyContin or whatever I could get my hands on to avoid being sick. I somehow managed to get through another semester of college. By the end of it, I knew that I needed to leave or I was going to die. I moved to the state of New Jersey in hopes of getting my life together. On the way there, I got so sick that my family was frantic just watching me. I swore that I would never do heroin again.
After two weeks I thought I had beat my addiction and decided to go home and confront it. I was home for four hours and relapsed. The next two weeks I was on a heroin binge, snorting bag after bag until I couldn’t function anymore. I walked through life in a daze and nothing affected me. It was as if heroin had shut off all my emotions – I was numb. I was staying with my parents at the time and they gave me another ultimatum. I could either quit using or leave. I had no money so I took my car and drove to my grandparents. I robbed them and when I came out I realized that my parents had followed me and taken my keys. After a struggle to get the keys back, they put me in the car and tried to drive me home. When we got close to my dealers, we were at a red light and I hopped out of the car and ran. My parents called telling me to never come home but I didn’t care; I just wanted to get high. I did so much heroin that night that subliminally I think I was hoping that I would just die. I didn’t care about myself or anyone else. I fell asleep on a mattress and woke up the next day with only one thought in my head, “I can’t live like this anymore.”
Painkillers (4)
A month after starting my new job I had to take a few days off to get my wisdom teeth out. After the operation, I was prescribed over the counter painkillers. I immediately began abuse them telling the doctor I was allergic in order to get more. I also found that my mother had some Vicodin left from an operation and was also taking Xanax on occasion to help her sleep. I began stealing pills from her and taking them all the time.
By December 2000 I had to quit my job, broke up with my boyfriend and moved into an apartment that was located on top of my parents business. I was going to back to college in the spring and decided to work at my parent’s restraint to save money. Soon, I began hanging out with the local crowd: drinking, eating painkillers, and smoking marijuana. I was introduced to OxyContin, a painkiller given to terminally ill cancer patients, and began using it on a regular basis. I would have to pop six or seven painkillers to get the same effect of snorting one 20 mg OxyContin that, chemically, is basically synthetic heroin. OxyContin was extremely potent but the withdrawal was like physical torture. At first, I didn’t understand why I was feeling the way I felt, coming off the drug, but I caught on as the sickness got worse. I was physically addicted.
